{"id":1181,"date":"2023-01-23T15:42:08","date_gmt":"2023-01-23T12:42:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ozgekorkut.com\/would-you-like-to-be-friends-with-yourself\/"},"modified":"2023-02-18T18:53:42","modified_gmt":"2023-02-18T15:53:42","slug":"would-you-like-to-be-friends-with-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ozgekorkut.com\/en\/would-you-like-to-be-friends-with-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"Would you like to be friends with yourself?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Would you like to be friends with yourself?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Have you ever chatted with yourself? Have you ever asked yourself that \u201cWhat am I talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n

If you were friends with yourself, would you like yourself? How would you feel if you watched a one-week clip of your life like a movie? How would you criticize yourself?<\/p>\n

Please think of what you talk all the day.<\/h3>\n

Try to find the word patterns you use constantly, your automatic reactions. When evaluating things and sharing your ideas, do you start with the good ones first or the bad ones? You saw a wonderful flower in a pot, but there is a crack on the edge of the pot. Do you first notice the fracture and express it, or the beauty of the flowers? You went to a place, the atmosphere looks great, but you noticed that the shoes of the first waiter who passed in front of you were dirty. Would your first sentence be \u201cSuch an employee does not fit here\u201d or after watching the beauty of the environment for a while, would you consider expressing it if necessary?<\/p>\n

When your friend buys a latest model car, is the first thing that comes to your mind, the sentence \u201cBut it will consume too much fuel..\u201d or the positive aspects of the car?<\/p>\n

When the power goes out, your work will be disrupted, you will get angry. Well, when there is electricity, do you ever think of being thankful for it?<\/p>\n

Do you realize how much criticism you make?<\/h3>\n

To what extent do you criticize about TV shows, movies, politics, education, social rights; people, ideas, behaviors, culture, lifestyles, preferences, morals? The ones you don’t like, the ones you can’t stand, the ones you don’t understand, the ones you say “unfortunately, that’s the way they are”… Would it be too long if you made such a list?<\/p>\n

Did you start counting right away when I asked the question? Take paper, pen and please write. Write whatever comes to mind.<\/p>\n

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Now think about the situations that make you happy. Let’s take a look at what you can positively direct all this critical approach to. People, behaviors, conditions, situations, jobs, rights-law balances, moral attitudes, social communication and interaction, your circle of friends, your favorite foods\u2026. I hope you can make a long list.<\/p>\n

Whichever list is longer, your perception is more intense there. In other words, you will be able to understand whether the things you focus on in your life are generally negative or positive from these lists. People generally find their complaints easier and that list gets longer. If the positive side is more full, congratulations. It means you are treating yourself well in life. This is an attitude you develop without realizing it. Complaining, often talking about the bad, not the good\u2026 Not being motivated and not motivating; always focusing on what needs to be better, both in oneself, in others, and even in life. Detecting faults and deficiencies, constantly trying to fix them… Complaints replacing gratitude… It is tiring.<\/p>\n

At the very least, start the day with a big thank you to yourself and life, and force yourself to say something positive before you utter something negative. Then, of course, don’t let it stay inside you, vomit the negative too. Since we can’t digest the effect of negatives on us, we can only remove it by vomiting.. \ud83d\ude0a<\/h4>\n

I want you to write the positive side of each item on the negative list you made. You may think that some substances do not have positive sides. But in fact, everything in our lives is shaped by our choices. For example, the dog in the neighbor’s garden is an aggressive, dangerous and constantly barking animal. What can be written against such negativity? If you have a neighbor with a garden and a dog, you most likely live in a house with a garden. Living in that house, one way or another, is your choice if you’re not chained by your feet. Every choice brings with it positive and negative effects. All you can do is accept it or fight it.<\/p>\n

If you live peacefully in your home, the sound of dogs will disturb you. But if you have a family member that you take for chemotherapy in that house, if your focus is on a completely different point in a struggle for life, unfortunately, you may not even be aware of the existence of that dog, let alone hearing it bark. Because your attention is not there. I can write “I am grateful for living in a house with a garden.” in front of this negativity in your list.\ud83d\ude0a<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

We call this situation “Comfortable Sinking” among the people.\ud83d\ude0a<\/h3>\n

For people whose struggle for life is at the forefront, experiencing this situation is a \u201cluxury\u201d; also for people who do not have a situation to struggle with and have not discovered their passion in life; Unfortunately, it can be seen as a very serious, depressive and problematic situation.<\/p>\n

I request you to re-evaluate your list of \u201cdiscomforts\u201d from this perspective.<\/p>\n

House rent has increased a lot \u2013 It shows that you still have a house to lay your head on, that you have a job, income, since you are paying rent.<\/em><\/p>\n

The cake is burned \u2013 You have the ingredients, pleasure and reasons to make the cake.<\/em><\/p>\n

I scored low on exams \u2013 If you are aware of the trend and are uncomfortable, then the solution is very close.<\/em><\/p>\n

I was fired \u2013 A new job is on the way. <\/em><\/p>\n

I’m out of money – if it’s gone, it means one uppon a time you had it.<\/em>\ud83d\ude0a<\/em><\/p>\n

I had a traffic accident, I have fractures \u2013 Diseases\/injuries happen to us to make us better. Are you ready to be a better version of you?<\/em><\/p>\n

Rather than focusing on why bad things happen to you, questioning what they’ve taught you will move you forward. Struggling with reasons and rebelling will only lower your energy and those around you.<\/p>\n

Take Care Of <\/strong><\/h3>\n

Taking care of something is a sign that it is valuable. How do you carry a very valuable vase? Carefully.<\/p>\n

How do you hug a newborn baby? Carefully not to hurt.<\/p>\n

How do you close the door of your new car? Slowly, carefully\u2026 you don’t want to step on their new mat with muddy shoes.<\/p>\n

Focusing on the good is the care we show for life, ourselves and our environment.<\/p>\n

Saying a nice word before criticizing, trying to be constructive, shows that you care about the other person.<\/p>\n

Even if you are very angry about something, trying to stay calm so that the people around you are not badly affected is to take care of the people around you.<\/p>\n

You can also take care of yourself when you get angry in the traffic jam. Does getting angry in traffic work to fix something that has already happened? No. However, getting angry with someone, gives him\/her the power to play with your emotions. It means you cared for him\/her.<\/p>\n

Life is not long enough to empower and think about the negative things. By not doing this, you are taking care of yourself.<\/p>\n

First Step<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Put your grievances and gratitude on the scales.<\/p>\n

Do you do everything just for yourself in life? This question is a very deep one. Write down on a piece of paper what you think you are doing for the good of others. Ask yourself questions until you’re sure if there’s something for yourself underneath. Dig well. You will find that you are actually doing most of it for yourself. Face your selfishness. Humans are selfish and this is very normal.<\/p>\n

You are the “reason” for most of the things you complain about, albeit a little bit.<\/p>\n

Go in front of the mirror and discover your unbearable sides \ud83d\ude0a<\/p>\n

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“Mirror” – Oil Painting – \u00d6zge Korkut<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Everything in life that we complain about, that we cannot bear, is a test that we must pass. We identify our own problems and shortcomings around us. Nobody wants to look in the mirror. No one wants to see and accept their ugliness and deficiencies. But like life, we have the good and the bad within us. We are not perfect, nor will we be.<\/p>\n

We do not like those who talk a lot, we call those who talk less introverted and antisocial. Gossipers, fraudsters, swindlers, lazy, immoral, hypocrites\u2026 They all exist in life. It’s all inside of us as well. I can hear you say I’m not immoral or two-faced \ud83d\ude0a The lies you tell yourself are the best indicator of your hypocrisy. Immoral thoughts, feelings, ideas do not get this name only when they act. Even if we didn’t, there were things that came to our minds. Repentance \ud83d\ude0a<\/p>\n

Once we face ourselves, it’s easier to see the good around. Because you soften your level of cruelty. Not only for yourself; when you start doing \u201cfavors\u201d to people you don’t even know, even without any emotional interests; You will establish a connection with the universe, with life.<\/p>\n

When interpreting things, trying to do this by respecting people’s lives, roots, what they choose and what they can’t choose, will not diminish anything from you, on the contrary, it will add a lot.<\/p>\n

Remember how necessary respect<\/strong> is.<\/p>\n

When your offers to have a good time with your favorite friend are turned down, try to respect her right to choose. Even with good intentions, our constant behavior towards our loved ones sometimes, causes them to be restricted; Consider that being intrusive might be not respecting the other person’s life.<\/p>\n

Respect the silence. If someone is silent, try not to disturb. If someone is happy and loud; respect that too; Have a little patience.\ud83d\ude0a<\/p>\n

Stop thinking all the time that people are violating your rights. Yes, being wronged will be a situation that we all have experienced and will continue to experience. But if your reaction to being wronged is greater than the joy you felt when you got what you deserved, question it. We will always experience the good and the bad together in life, but whichever we want to highlight, we must turn the spotlight on it.<\/p>\n

Do I want to be friends with myself? Some time ago, I would give the answer as; \u201cI don’t think so\u201d. I didn’t see myself as a very fun or “must have” person. It’s more like someone who lives in her own world and doesn’t have much to do with the outside world. It’s harmless, but I don’t know if it helps. I used to call myself someone who sees the negativities in life more. In fact, it’s no different than standing in front of the vegetable aisle at a grocery store and crying as there are rotten vegetables. Vegetables rot. You fill your bag with good ones \ud83d\ude0a If you keep good vegetables at home too long, they will rot again. Life will never be perfect. Sometimes we will be angry at mistakes, sometimes we will make the mistake ourselves, whether we want it or not…<\/p>\n

Do I want to be friends with myself now? Yes \ud83d\ude0a Actually, I haven’t changed, I’m the same \u00d6zge, but my point of view towards myself has changed.<\/p>\n

Change your perspective, change your life!<\/strong><\/p>\n

So let’s ask again: Would you like to be friends with yourself?<\/strong><\/p>\n

With Love…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Would you like to be friends with yourself? Have you ever chatted with yourself? Have you ever asked yourself that \u201cWhat am I talking about?\u201d If you were friends with yourself, would you like yourself? How would you feel if you watched a one-week clip of your life like a movie? How would you criticize […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1173,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-1181","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-personal-development-en"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ozgekorkut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1181"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ozgekorkut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ozgekorkut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ozgekorkut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ozgekorkut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1181"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.ozgekorkut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1181\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1324,"href":"https:\/\/www.ozgekorkut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1181\/revisions\/1324"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ozgekorkut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1173"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ozgekorkut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1181"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ozgekorkut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1181"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ozgekorkut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1181"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}